


I'm Not the Cliché

by kpopoppa



Category: Virals Series - Kathy Reichs
Genre: Eating Disorder, I think this is probably the only virals ed fanfic, Other, ben blue - Freeform, hiram has an eating disorder, hiram stolowitski - Freeform, shelton devers - Freeform, tory brennan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-28 22:29:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3872113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kpopoppa/pseuds/kpopoppa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiram Stolowitski doesn't exactly fit the Eating Disorder cliché.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not the Cliché

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I wrote this little one shot at about 1am on my ipod (which has a cracked screen and is hella bad) so if some of this is a bit confusing I'm sorry. I did check the spelling though so that should be ok. Also its just over 2k words.

TORY POV:  
3 months. It took me 3 months for me to figure out one of my best friends, pack mates, had an eating disorder. Why so long? Well, Hiram Stolowitski doesn't exactly fit the eating disorder cliché. I was stupid. All the signs were there. Every single one. I should have noticed when he stopped bringing his lunch to school and would decline our offers for food. Hiram Stolowitski declining food. Or how he stopped his constant snacking at the bunker, oh and the fact he was losing weight. Yeah, I should have put two and two together, but I didn't. And I'll regret that for the rest of my life. Because really, it was all my fault. I started it.  
\-----------start---------------  
He knows they have way bigger problems at the moment that this shouldn’t even be on his mind. But it is, and he is worried, and hurt, and insecure and a lot of things that's he's never been before and it scares him, it scares him because never before has he looked in the mirror and hated what he saw so much he wants to cry and tear all the fat off his body and scratch off his face because now he hates himself more than he ever has and ever will hate anyone else, and that's sad.  
He knows he should hate the game master or Fergus more than he hates himself, and he did, before, he honestly did, but now, he tops the list of people he hates. He's right up there with Hitler, he can't believe he hates himself more than they guy that killed millions of Jewish people, his ancestors. Top of the list; Hiram Stolowitski.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It all started out with jokes. The same jokes he has heard for years and years and he knows them all off by heart, and he's so used to them, they don't even hurt, that much. Then it progressed to teasing. Jaunts here and there with actual malice. These people meant what they said. When they said he was disgusting, and ugly, and fat, they meant it. And that hurt a lot. But he could kind of push it aside because they were people he didn't really like anyway.   
What really shattered his already cracked heart (which was carefully held together by his constant smiles and jokes) was when they were having a meeting, and Tory spoke those 5 words that shattered him and he doesn't blame her, never has, never will. She just wanted the best for her pack and him.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You need to lose weight."  
That caught him off guard.  
"Huh?"  
He replies dumbly, at loss for any real words. She can't be serious, right?  
"It would be good for us all if you lost weight Hiram, so you can be fitter and more agile. It will be easier if you were lighter and more agile.”  
He drop the biscuits he was munching on. Oh. He feels his world crash down. One of the three people in his life that he thought accepted him for who he was. The only three people he could be 100% himself with, wanted him to change something, change how he looked? That hurt more than any other joke and taunt combined, ever.  
"Ok."   
He replies. He will. He'll lose weight. He can't have the three most important people in his life disappointed in him.  
Tory smiles at him. Yes. He'll defiantly do this.  
His self-esteem has always been resting directly on the very thin line between good and bad. Bad remarks about his weight from people he doesn’t care about wobble his tight rope act slightly, but he manages to stay on. But Tory, his pack member saying that completely pushed him off and sent him plummeting down along with his self-esteem.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It starts with breakfast. It doesn't really matter if he skips it, plus it's easy to. Just procrastinate getting out of bed for 10 minutes and he won't have time to eat. It's a perfect plan and maybe it will actually work.   
He doesn't pack lunch or bring any money either. He can't really explain how he feels other than shy. Shy to eat in front of them. It will disgust them and disappoint them and he really doesn't want that.   
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When the bell goes signalling lunch, he's kind of at loss of what to do. He's never skipped lunch and he doesn't know what the others will do. He'll just assume for now that they won't care.  
It's the first day, so nobody really comments other than Shelton's  
"You forgot? Idiot."  
And that's it. He's honestly so relieved he almost cries. It's painfully easy for him to do this, simply because he's the last person they would assume to have self-esteem issues, or skip meals.   
They are right to think this. He always acts cocky and is never phased when the people they're fighting call him 'the fat one.' But you see, the word acting is the crucial word here.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
He sits in the corner of the bunker, watching other others, lost in thought. The thing about being viral is he has to be extremely careful of what he thinks and when, because at any moment, Tory or any other of the guys could read his mind and blow his whole plan. Even now, he can’t think anything to do with himself.  
“Guys, I’m going to try the thing.”  
Tory exclaims and Shelton groans.  
“Tory, please, no.”  
Hiram agrees with Shelton. What if she unlocks these thoughts he’s had? He pushes the thought from his mind. Build a wall Hiram, a mental wall.  
“Guys, I need to understand!”  
Tory argues, motioning for Hi to come closer. He sighs, but obeys, moving to join the circle the others have made. They all link hands and all Hi can run through his head is;  
Happy thoughts, Happy thoughts, Happy thoughts.  
He feels a sharp pain jolts through him as he flare. He can hear Tory inside his head screaming “Break the wall, I need to break the wall.” That’s exactly what he doesn’t want. But then all his thoughts he so carefully harboured come pouring out. He can feel her confusion because there are so many, so many bad thoughts she can’t understand a single word of what she’s hearing. Tory screams and her flare dies down and she’s trembling and it’s all Hiram’s fault. He feels so guilty he wants to die.   
“Tor? Tory! You ok?”  
Shelton yells, making Hiram flinch.  
“Whaa?”  
She mumbles, looking dazed.  
“You screamed, what happened?”  
Ben asks, grabbing her hand. Tory looks at me, no malice or hate in her eyes. Hiram thanks his luck stars she doesn’t hate him.  
“I-I went in Hi’s head and I like, broke a mental wall. Which sounds odd, but that’s the best way I can describe it. Then all at once, all these thoughts, so many I couldn’t catch a word came flying out and it hurt so bad.”  
She starts tearing up. Hiram thinks it’s the pain. He’s wrong. She’s tearing up because she caught one phrase that cried out so much louder than the rest;  
“I’m so fucking fat.”  
And that’s when she started to suspect.   
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Tory can’t get it out of her mind. Hiram Stolowitski. She hopes she’s wrong. Oh god she does. But deep down, she knows she isn’t, and that worries her.  
More and more she starts to pick up on signs that something is wrong. He’s lost weight, which is something he hasn’t done the year she’s been there, and looking at older photos of him, she can see he’s always been chubby. But now, he is actually what you would define as ‘skinny’, and that worries her. His eyes look so, dead. The playful spark he once had is gone. His tone, once so jovial, now soft. He’s almost shy. He doesn’t talk to strangers well and social interaction is worse than Shelton. His sarcastic humour is still there, but he’s so much quieter and unneeded jokes aren’t there. He looks tired, and most of all, she hasn’t seen him eat in weeks. That worries her the most because she’s so used to seeing him constantly snack, and to see that just stop has shaken her. And the fact the others don’t see any of this annoys the crap out of her.   
She doesn’t know what to call what’s wrong with him so she googles it;  
Stopped eating  
Withdrawal   
Change in personality  
First result: Eating disorder. She gulps. God, she has no experience with this kind of thing.   
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I bought cookies!”  
Tory calls. She’s nervous. She spent all morning baking biscuits and she’s hoping to force Hiram to eat them.  
“Uh, thanks Tor, but why?”  
Shelton asks. She knew they were ask and she wasn’t just gonna say ‘oh I think Hi has an eating disorder so I’m trying to force him to eat, so she made a cover story.  
“The bimbo wanted me to practise baking.”  
Ben and Shelton just shrug and take one as she places it on the table, but Hiram just glares at the container. He’s wearing his usual array of floral shirts and contrasting shorts, but the clothes are hanging off his slender frame, under his eyes are dark rings, visualising his lack of sleep. He looks sad, and she’s never seen Hiram Stolowitski sad.  
“Go on Hi.”  
She pushes the box towards him. He looks at her but he can’t meet her eye. All that’s running through his head is;   
“Don’t eat it, fatass.”  
Tory reaches over and touches him on the shoulder. She can feel how bony it is and she feels a wave of tears coming. She meets his eyes with her tear glazed ones and whispers;  
“Please, just one.”   
And he feels so guilty for making her tear up he takes one. He nibbles on it and he feels disgusting. This is the first thing he’s eaten in almost two weeks, but Tory lets out a relieved breath, even though she can see the disgust on Hi’s face, and it isn’t the cookies. She knows she’s going to have to talk to Ben and Shelton about this. She can’t really blame them for not picking up, she only knows because she went inside his head.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Hi leaves due to his mother texting him telling him to come home, Tory seizes the opportunity to talk to Shelton and Ben. When she is certain Hiram has left and is out of ear shot she starts.  
“Guys, we need to chat.”  
The boys spin around, wearing identical confused looks.  
“Ok, why are we doing this without Hi though?”  
Shelton inquires. Tory sighs. The boys are so smart, but sometimes they can be so… clueless.   
“Because it’s about Hi.”  
She lets out a small laugh at the insanity of it all. Of all the people she knows, and frankly that’s a lot, he was the last person she would think would get this.   
“What did he do this time?”  
Ben says. Clueless. She’s annoyed. Have they seriously got no clue?  
“Have you noticed anything at all different or wrong with Hiram at all?”  
Tory semi-yells. Ben’s face scrunches up in thought. Not from what he can remember. Well actually, lately he’s lost a lot of weight, he’s a growing boy, its normal, but he’s really skinny now.  
“Well he’s lost weight.”  
Tory smiles. He has noticed something. Shelton takes that in. He hadn’t noticed. At all.  
“How did I not notice that?”  
At least they’re getting there, Tory thinks.   
“It’s not my story to tell, but look a little closer at Hiram’s eating habits.”  
And with that, she leaves the bunker.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Hiram steps on the scale.  
57 kilograms  
He groans. He still has such a long way to go until his goal weight, 40.But its better than the 86 kilos he was when he started. He steps out of the bathroom, discouraged, when his MacBook starts beeping manically. Shelton. Wants to video chat. With just him? Nobody ever want to just talk to him, they all get too annoyed by his constant chatting and stupid, sarcastic jokes. That’s why he’s stopped doing both.   
“Hello?”  
Hi asks, opening up his Mac.  
“Yo buddy.”  
Shelton says. Hiram can’t think of one time Shelton has ever said that, and he looks nervous, tugging at his ear lobe. He must want something.  
“What is it?”  
Hi asks, voice soft and eyes glazed over with fresh tears. He’s always so sad lately and always on the verge of tears.  
“What’s wrong? Why are you sad?”  
Shelton looks him dead in the eyes as he asks the question, the nervous ear tugging stopped. Shelton figured it out after a lot of thinking. Something is making Hiram sad. His constant talking and sarcastic jokes have stopped, and Shelton knows that means his happiness has too. Hi is at a loss for words to he just stares.  
“Hiram, please, tell me why you’re sad.”  
Hiram can’t tell him, so instead, he fakes a smile and a laugh and says.  
“Nothing’s wrong Shelton, you’re just being paranoid. I’m fine, never been better.”  
And he closes the laptop before Shelton can see the fresh wave of tears leak from his eyes. He isn’t fine. But he will be. They’ll never know, because Hiram Stolowitski doesn’t exactly fit the Eating Disorder Cliché.


End file.
